Lay down your ax and let the children find truth

Christopher Suleske

Philosophy professor Stephen Law wrote something the other day which, as a father of two small children, caught my attention. The subject was "lying to children" (http://stephenlaw.blogspot.com/2007/11/lying-to-children.html). I appreciate his thoughtfulness on the subject, including his consideration of his own possible hypocrisy in the matter. He is working through whether it is defensible to lie to children to protect them in some way. Of course, good philosophy professor that he is, he is coming at it from an atheist’s point of view. He writes:

"But if she asks me whether I believe in God and Heaven, I would find it very difficult to tell her what I consider to be a fib. Despite the fact that this little girl derives an extraordinary amount of comfort, and even some happiness, from that lie. Far more, in fact, than she derives from the fib about Santa and the Elves.

"Doesn’t that make me a hypocrite? Aren’t I operating with a blatant double standard? I’ll go out of my way to lie about Santa and the Elves. Yet I turn into Mr Principle when it comes to lying about God and the angels.

"Well, may be not. As children grow up, we create illusory worlds for them to inhabit: little bubbles of deceit. One of these bubbles of belief is about goblins and fairies, another is about Santa and Rudolph. These bubbles soon pop, of course, We can’t sustain them into adult life. But, while they last, they are charming fantasies.

"The trouble with the religious bubble, from the point of view of most atheists, is that it doesn’t always pop. Many of us continue to inhabit it throughout our entire lives. And it can dramatically shape our lives, sometimes for better, sometimes for worse."

And that is where he has an ax to grind: his desire that the child come to his way of thinking on such things as belief in God. I would say to him "Lay down your ax" and he will find his answer much easier.

Were I in his position, if the subject were intractable, I would tell the girl the truth, that I do not personally believe in God, but that should not mean that she (or anyone else) cannot. And I would be as humble as I could be about my own view. It is not the place of philosophy professors, nor anyone apart from parents, to bring children into their way of thinking. And even with parents, care must be taken to impart beliefs based on reason as well as faith. In my opinion, based on what scripture tells me, both serve a child exceptionally well - and need not be in perpetual conflict.

"What is in the best interest of the child?" is the operant question. A practicing Christian and an atheist would certainly believe differently in regard to whether belief in God serves her well. But I would think a loving atheist father would still desire his child to be a seeker and not content with his understanding of all there is. And that is the crux, as I see it: we do not determine truth; it is up to each of us to seek truth. It does not serve a child well for a parent to be dogmatic in any regard - believer or not. It is to me sad when kids run around saying things clearly not of their origin, repeating the very narrow-minded views of their parents. The best example I can think of at present are the children and grandchildren of that jerk of jerks, Fred Phelps. Seeing kids screaming epithets toward the mourning sickens my soul. I am reminded of Jesus' words:

"Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin."

It bears repeating that we do not determine truth. I am sure many a philosophy professor would argue me on this point, but if I am prescribing dogma at all, it is on this one point (that there are non-relative, that is, universal truths). It is up to parents to help guide kids in seeking truth. Petty dogmatism leaves a kid wide open to the challenges of the quick-witted who seemingly have all the answers. They generally show up in college - at least they did in my case. I think in one or two semesters I went from someone who did not think he knew anything to someone who thought he knew everything - both errors, though the latter far more egregious.