Unsolicited Advice for the Class of 2005

Stephen Feher

For many students across the country, this is an exciting time: their graduation. As part of the festivities, high schools and colleges will be inviting prominent speakers to the commencement ceremonies to hopefully impart a few more bits of wisdom to the young neophytes before they take the next steps down whatever path they’ve chosen in life. Speakers such as George W. Bush, Hillary Clinton, Bono, and Bill Cosby are among some of the big names selected to speak to various graduating classes. But since one is more likely to receive an invite if they’re a politician, entertainer, or high-profile entrepreneur than if they’re a middle-management cubicle dweller or freelance internet writer, I’ve been ignored by thousands of institutes of higher learning looking for commencement speakers. Had I not been passed over, I would have given the following advice to the graduating high school seniors of the class of 2005:

For those of you going off to college, I encourage you to choose a course of study that will prepare you for life after graduation. Science, engineering, business, something. I’m sure the idea of spending the next four years of your life majoring in 16th century English literature or Hispanic women’s studies sounds romantic, but you’re going to have to eventually leave college and enter the “real world,” where people are going to care less about why you think French fries are a phallic symbol meant to oppress your gender and more why you haven’t yet filled that order of them to go with the burger and large Coke. True story: I had a philosophy professor in college whose first job after receiving his PhD was as a waiter. You’re going to be spending real money to attend college, some of you as much as $40,000 per year; for that much money, you’d better make sure you have a way to make it back.

For those of you going to college to pursue a serious major like science, engineering, or business, take a few elective classes that have little or no practical value, particularly if it’s a chance to study something you wouldn’t otherwise be able to study (or study as deeply) on your own. Take a class in comparative religions, literature, drama, history, art, anything that interests you. Professional study is important, but you should take every presented opportunity to expand your horizons while you can in college. When you’re working 60 hours a week and fixing up the house on the weekends, those opportunities are few and far between.

Y-O-U-R is possessive; Y-O-U-‘-R-E means “you are.” By this point in you lives, you all should have learned that. You may not think it’s fair, but people judge you on how you write. If you can’t display the intelligence or the discipline to write you thoughts down well, then what is the reader to assume of the thoughts themselves? Would you trust a doctor who apparently hadn’t mastered middle school grammar to perform brain surgery on you? If you didn’t learn the difference between “your” and “you’re,” pick up a dictionary after the ceremony. Oh, and while you’re at it, learn the difference between “there,” “their,” and “they’re.”

While we’re on the subject of lessons learned in class, think back to your class on U.S. government, where you hopefully read through the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution. The former document lists three rights of mankind: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. The latter document has a very short, well-defined list of rights possessed by citizens of this country, such as the right to free speech and worship, freedom from unlawful search and seizure, etc. Note that nowhere in either of these documents are you granted “rights” such as a job, a living wage, free health care, or any other imposition on another person’s time, talent, or money. You have the right to bear arms, but you don’t have a right to a gun. A job is the possession of the employer to give, at a wage he feels is appropriate for that job. It is you responsibility to earn that job and
negotiate a fair wage. To say that you have a “right” to a job is to say that you have a rightful claim to somebody else’s money, regardless of the skills or effort you put forth. The same is true of a “right” to free health care: health care costs somebody else money and time; you don’t have a “right” to either of those. You have a right to pursue a job, or a right to try to find health care at an agreeable price, but you can’t force someone to meet your demands. If they come at a physical cost to another, then they’re not rights.

Oh, and as far as pursuing a job goes: yes, you can find a job. As talk radio host Neal Boortz is fond of pointing out, most Mexicans seem to have little trouble finding a job within ten minutes of crossing the border, so there’s no reason you shouldn’t be able to find one. A quick story from personal experience: leading up to the last presidential election, the media, spurred on by the challenging candidate, would run stories of recession or economic woe almost daily. One day I glanced at the paper before going off to work, and saw a page-one story claiming high unemployment in our country. I then when out to a construction site my company was managing. The contractor had called the local day-labor company the previous day and asked for two men to come out to dig ditches. That morning he was greeted by two women who gave him nothing more than an incredulous look when he tried to hand them shovels. When he asked the company why they hadn’t sent out two people willing and able to dig like he’d requested, they replied that they didn’t have anybody else to send! Make no mistake about it, you can find a job. Unless the “help wanted” section of every newspaper in the country is empty, then you have no place to complain about not being able to find a job. Oh, you may not be able to find a job that pays what you think you’re worth, or you may not find a job that you love, but that doesn’t mean you can’t find a job.

Many of you are preparing to leave your parents and move out on your own after 18 years. For the past 18 years they’ve fed and clothed you, and put a roof over your head. They’ve sacrificed 18 prime years of their lives to raise you. Be sure to thank them for that. And remember those years they gave up for you when that time eventually comes that they need you to return the favor. Also, after you’ve been in the “real world” for a few years, be sure to look back at some of the things your parents said to you and taught you. You might be surprised how much smarter they appear to be then than they do now.

Above all, whether you’re going off to college, entering the workforce immediately, or taking time off to pursue other ventures, please remember that you, and you alone, are responsible for what happens to you in life. These last four years, you’ve been given an opportunity to gain an education. Hopefully you chose to take advantage of that opportunity. Whether you did or didn’t, the responsibility is yours. What you do with that education is also your responsibility. If something goes wrong in life, don’t blame anyone other than the person you see in the mirror each morning. Where you go in life from here is up to you; choose wisely.