Rebel Without A Clue

Bob Newman

Indeed, a picture tells a thousand words, but words tell far more.

The notorious Denver Post’s latest ugly attempt to chip away at the new-born, still-tenuous freedom Iraqis have obtained recently manifested itself in a front-page, far-from-subtle screed about one Jeff Englehart, late of the United States Army.

Written by an easily manipulated reporter named Erin Emery infatuated with the self-styled rogue, the article is a study in pro-socialist propaganda dutifully recited by the would-be wild one.

I can see the problematic, undisciplined ex-soldier mugging in his bathroom mirror, emulating Marlon Brando’s Johnny Strabler in The Wild One.

A girl asks the charismatic Strabler, “What’re you rebelling against, Johnny?”

Responds Johnny, “What’d’ya got?”

Decorated with his dark-as-possible aviator-style shades and a disheveled, mop-top haircut, Englehart sneers at the mirror, snaps open a Zippo and fires up another smoke.

The large, color photo of the hopeful provocateur caught my eye as I a walked through the 850 KOA newsroom, the paper tossed on some filing cabinets. Glancing down and before reading the article’s title or a single word in the piece, I knew precisely what I was looking at: the classic wannabe revolutionary frightened of the truth and desperate to be declared an enemy of the state, but knowing in the shallows of his soul that he will never grow beyond being just another puny fish in a sprawling sea of hate.

I caught myself grinning as I read the stickers on the top of his laptop, a sophomoric, predictable collection of leftist tripe: “Revolution begins with an individual,” the mandatory peace symbol, some bombs falling amid the words “What would Jesus bomb?”, a skull, a circled cross with a slash across it.

How trendy.

The article is even more revealing and illuminates a young man whose personal hero, Che Guevara, plays a critical part in the dim goings-on within Englehart’s oh-so-angry brain-housing group. Here, the reporter’s own inability (unwillingness?) to separate fact from fiction comes into play when Emery claims Guevara was murdered, when in reality the bloodthirsty terrorist who butchered scores in the name of Marx, Mao and Castro was captured in battle with a Bolivian army unit and executed for his innumerable gruesome crimes. But why let facts get in the way of a romantic, anti-America tale with a local twist?

Guevara is certainly a telling roll model for our transparent young socialist.

He tells the laughable tale of how he intercepts a prospective recruit outside of a Marine Corps recruiting office. He claims the lad tells him he wants to join the Marines so he can find out what it is like to kill a man. Englehart’s fantasy response is to tell the kid that the so-called terrorists in Iraq are really just innocent farmers.

Innocent farmers who gleefully blow up children.

Englehart then regales the reporter with the story of how Socialist Worker published one of his anti-freedom rants while he was still in the army. He then claims he feared one or more of his fellow soldiers would kill him for his political views; the expected I-feared-for-my-life shtick. He recalls how his barracks room “was filled with anti-war books, socialist propaganda, anarchist literature and posters” and that he, being a coward, quickly got rid of the material because his leaders were searching for evidence that would lead them to an anti-freedom protestor within their ranks. The Post’s enamored reporter sucks it up and skips the obvious next question: if you are so brave and committed to your politics, why didn’t you have the moral courage, the intestinal fortitude, the guts to show your leaders how you really felt?
He goes on to brag how he was nearly court-martialled for his views. He tells how his lack of discipline allowed him to harm his unit’s morale and therefore combat effectiveness. To him, this is a badge of honor. Again, no challenge from the reporter, who says Englehart is “an independent thinker.”

Funny. I wasn’t aware that socialists who toe the leftist line and have their opinions dictated to them by their masters were known as independent thinkers.

The reporter fails yet again to ask the obvious question: If you are so committed to your view that America was wrong to free the Iraqis and the terrorists are right to fight us, why haven’t you joined al Qaeda in Iraq? Surely you would be a great asset to al-Zarqawi.

In the end, young Englehart yearns for an imaginary socialist utopia with himself as ruler, a jaunty beret perched atop his head, a cigarette replacing his mentor’s Cuban cigar.

Pedestrian.

Pedantic.

Pathetic.

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Bob Newman, a decorated, retired US Marine, is host of the “Gunny Bob Show” on Newsradio 850 KOA in Denver, and host of “Anger-Management Hour” on 630 KHOW, also in Denver. A ground-combat veteran, he is the director of international security & counterterrorism services for The GeoScope Group and is the military science & terrorism columnist for The Denver Daily News. He can be reached at bobnewman@clearchannel.com.

bobnewman@clearchannel.com