MoveOn Buys Democratic Party!

Gregory Borse

In Quadrennial Political Garage Sale, MoveOn Buys Democratic Party!

In something of a surprise announcement to Terry McAuliffe and the leaders of the Democratic Party, MoveOn has claimed ownership of the Democratic Party as a result of the grassroots movement started by Howard Dean during the primary season of the 2004 Presidential Elections.

According to YahooNews (“MoveOn to Democratic Pary: ‘We Own It!’, 9 December 2004), in an angry e-mail addressed to “professional election losers” (a polite way to refer to Bob Shrum) leaders of MoveOn wrote: “We bought it. We own it. We are going to take it back.”

Former President Bill Clinton, resting after the dedication of his Presidential Library in Little Rock, Arkansas could only wonder why the building designed to memorialize his presidency was not vertical rather than horizontal—but I digress.

Eli Pariser, author of the e-mail informing Democratic insiders of their impending retirement, wrote: “For years, the party has been lead by elite Washington insiders who are closer to corporate lobbyists than they are to the Democratic base. But we can’t afford four more years of leadership by a consulting class of professional election losers.”

In a related story, Air America has announced the infusion of $9 million in cash and the retention of Al Franken as the marquee spokesman for the fledgling liberal radio network—but I digress.

Pariser continued: “In the last year, grass-roots contributors like us have given more than $300 million to the Kerry campaign and the DNC, and proved that the party does not need corporate cash to be competitive.” Pariser took particular umbrage with the idea that Democrats have been receiving corporate donations from the very same contributors that have supported Republican rivals—despite the fact that the McCain-Feingold Campaign Finance Bill makes it virtually impossible for corporations to participate in the democratic process legally without making equal contributions to both parties—but only so long as they express support verbally for neither.

In what was supposed to be a message of conciliation, DNC spokesman Jano Cabrera praised McAuliffe’s leadership: “Call me crazy, but I think the fact that for the first time in party history we outraised the Republicans, and did so primarily through grass-roots fundraising is something to be proud of.”

Meanwhile, Widow Dodie Arnone gave $10 to what she thought was the Sisters of Perpetual Suffering, only to be informed later that her money went to the fund for the Perpetual Sanitation of the Presidential Library of Bill Clinton—but I digress.

Party insiders do not know yet what to make of this latest shake-up in the Democratic ranks—but one thing seems to be clear: Hillary Clinton (D-Sen New York) is moving to the Right.

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Mr. Borse holds a Ph.D. in English from Louisiana State University. He is an assistant Professor of English at a two year college in north central Indiana. He is married with four children--two girls and two boys. Interests include media, culture, politics, literature, philosophy, and disc-golf. His articles also appear periodically at ChronWatch.com and TheRant.us.

gregorbo@peoplepc.com