McGreevey, the Brave Little Governor

Matt Grills

New Jersey’s governor resigns and declares in a heavily publicized news conference that he is “a gay American.”

Truly this is a win-win for the media, who love covering wrecked marriages, and homosexuals, who love adding one more name – especially the name of a public official – to their roster. If only he’d been a Republican.

And James McGreevey? Well, I fear he’s getting exactly what he wants, too: sympathy that he likely will use to justify future homosexual conduct without all the nasty feelings of guilt and confusion he had before. The governor knows that in our society’s murky moral climate, he can count on being told to follow his heart. And isn’t that what it’s all about?

Reading a transcript of the news conference, my attention is drawn to this statement of McGreevey’s: “From my early days in school, until the present day, I acknowledged some feelings, a certain sense that separated me from others. But because of my resolve, and also thinking that I was doing the right thing, I forced what I thought was an acceptable reality onto myself .... At a point in a person’s life, one has to look deeply into the mirror of one’s soul and decide one’s unique truth in the world, not as we may want to see it or hope to see it, but as it is.”

I in no way discount McGreevey’s inner turmoil when I say that this explanation has the clarity of Hillary Clinton’s Rose Law Firm billing records. Let’s try the layman’s translation: “From the time I was young, I’ve unexplainably been attracted to men instead of women. But I was afraid people wouldn’t like me if they knew, so I decided to act as normal as I could ... But once you lose all self-control and have a homosexual affair and people find out and want to expose or blackmail you, you might as well just come clean with your secrets and then calm the waters by saying you need to be true to yourself.”

Though his motives for confession appear dubious, McGreevey deserves some credit for perhaps the saddest part of the admission: “Shamefully, I engaged in an adult consensual affair with another man, which violates my bonds of matrimony. It was wrong. It was foolish. It was inexcusable.”

Shame. Violation of the bonds of matrimony. Wrong. These are antiquated concepts that clearly describe his actions, and McGreevey acknowledged them. He knows that tormented feelings and a lover of the same sex don’t make an affair any less adulterous.

Indeed, it must be a dreadful burden to experience same-sex desire in a world where morality and, most notably, basic human biology frown upon it. I believe homosexuals when they say they did not “ask” for these feelings. Where I disagree is whether these feelings must be acted upon.

McGreevey and others who “come out” seem awfully selective about the feelings they choose to follow. Most admit to initially experiencing confusion, guilt or embarrassment concerning their homosexual nature. What, then, makes those feelings of confusion, guilt and embarrassment “bad” and homosexual feelings “good”? How exactly do they arrive at the conclusion that accepting and acting upon homosexual desire is what they must do?

Surely others struggle along with McGreevey. Are all of them destined or obligated to “come out,” or are they permitted to ignore homosexual desire because of religious or moral beliefs? Is a person who experiences homosexual desire yet consciously chooses to reject it any less of a person?

That’s what McGreevey’s remarks seem to suggest. I ask, though, who is the braver person: he who says his physical needs must be satisfied no matter the cost, or he who says to himself that not every feeling or desire he experiences must find expression?

To my knowledge, and perhaps because it’s not our business, McGreevey has not offered details on what he’ll do after leaving office. Will he remain married, or will he and his wife divorce so that he can be who he wants to be? I’m sure the media, always on the job, will keep us apprised.

Still, wouldn’t it have been wild if McGreevey had come to the microphone and said, “Hey, I’m going to tell you something you don’t really want or need to know, but I owe you the truth because I’m an elected official who, like it or not, is a role model.

“For most of my life, I have been attracted to other men. In recent years, I acted on those desires and had an affair with another man. I sinned against my wife and God, and I beg their forgiveness. But I am here to tell you that I have chosen to keep my commitment I made the day I married my wife. I want to heal our marriage, and my struggles and personal failings will no longer be more important to me than the vows I made to her.

“Oh, and my resignation is effective immediately, because reconciling with my wife is much more important than the Democrats’ need to keep the governor’s office. Thank you.”

Sounds like an “acceptable reality” to me.

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Matt Grills is a writer and conservative activist living in Indianapolis, where he works for a nonprofit organization. He also is editor of The MinorProphet.com, an online community for Christians. In 1997, he earned a bachelor's degree in religious studies from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais, Ill. He has written for a handful of Hoosier newspapers and is a member of the Indiana Leadership Forum, a program that encourages emerging community leaders to increase their involvement in the Republican Party. E-mail him at matt@theminorprophet.com

matt@theminorprophet.com